Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Ied Mubarok


Last year Ied mubarok is very happy to me, and that unforgettable to me. Ied mubarok last year, I woke up very morning to prepare ied pray together my family.

I woke up at 4 am. Then, I helped my mother cooked in the kitchen, after that I preparing to take a bath. After finishing took a bath at the 5 am, I prayed subuh. Then my mother asked me to save my brother and play with him. Then I prepared to go to the court to ied pray. I left home at 6 am. I went to court on foot with my mother and my brother. And my father went to court by motorcycle with my first brother and finally I arrived in the court at 06.25 am. There, I met with many old friends; I met with my junior high school friends. We each other shake hands and I was very happy can met my old friends in junior high school. After that I prepared to ied pray, and this is time to ied pray. It was started at 7 am. After finishing I listened to khotbah, I went to home with my mother. We arrived at home at 07.30 am. After I arrived home, I apologized of my mistake to my parents, after that I eating with my family.

After that I met together with my big family at my grandmother’s home. In my grandmother’s home, all my cousins, my uncles, my aunts and all my relatives met together and we each other shake hands. There were many cakes, and there we talked many problems and I very happy with that. Next, I and my big family went to neighbours to sillaturahmi from house to house.

And finally I don’t like this, because this is time to sparate between I and my big family. Because time is afternoon, they are back to home. That day is very happy because it is not every day we can met together with my big family, although tired but I felt very happy and fun.


Name: Nurul Izzati

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Name: Nailis Sa'adah
Peer's name: Nurul Izzati
Title of the recount text: Ied Mubarok

1. Text Organization
a. Did the writer choose an appropriate title? NO, EID MUBAROK

b. Does the text have complete structure? (orientation, sequences of events, reorientation) YES

c. Does Orientation state clear topic? (who, what, where, and when the event happened) YES

d. Do the events put in sequences? YES

e. Does each paragraph have elaboration (supporting sentences) in order to make the reader more understand about the writer's story? YES
SCORE: 4

2. Content
a. Does the text develop clear idea? YES
SCORE: 5


3. Grammar
a. Has the writer used past tense correctly? NO
- LAST YEAR IED MUBAROK IS VERY HAPPY ... --> LAST YEAR EID MUBAROK WAS VERY HAPPY ...
- ... AND THAT UNFORGETTABLE TO ME --> ... AND THAT WAS UNFORGETTABLE TO ME
- AFTER THAT I PREPARING ... --> AFTER THAT I PREPARED ...
- WE EACH OTHER SHAKE HANDS ... --> WE EACH OTHER SHOOK HANDS ...
- ... AND THIS IS TIME TO IED PRAY --> ... AND THIS WAS TIME TO EID PRAY
- ... AFTER THAT I EATING ... --> AFTER THAT I ATE ...
- ... AND I VERY HAPPY ... --> AND I WAS VERY HAPPY ..
- AND FINALLY I DON'T LIKE ... --> AND FINALLY I DIDN'T LIKE ...
- ... BECAUSE THIS IS TIME ... --> ... BECAUSE THIS WAS TIME ...
- ... BECAUSE TIME IS AFTERNOON ... --> BECAUSE TIME WAS AFTERNOON..
- ... THEY ARE BACK TO HOME --> ... THEY CAME BACK TO HOME
- THAT DAY IS VERY HAPPY ... --> THAT DAY WAS VERY HAPPY ...
- ... BECAUSE IT IS NOT EVRY DAY WE CAN MET TOGETHER... --> ... BECAUSE IT WAS NOT EVRY DAY WE COULD MET TOGETHER...


b. Has the writer used preposition correctly? YES

c. Has the writer used linking words such as then, next, later, after than, etc in order to put the event in understandable sequences? YES
SCORE: 3

4. Punctuation
a. Has the writer used correct punctuation? (capital letter, coma, full stop, and apostrophe) YES


b. Has the writer written their text using correct spelling? NO
- IED --> EID
SCORE: 2,5


5. Style
a. has the writer used various vocabularies? YES
SCORE: 5

TOTAL SCORE: 19,5 X 4 = 78